Pregnancy: U is for Unprepared

U is for Unprepared. I've had 9 months to get ready for this little man yet I feel highly unprepared, like I packed shorts and tank tops for a trip to Australia in July.

I've washed and folded tiny clothes, read and earmarked dozens of books, and learned how to install a car seat. And I panic at the thought of weird things, like taking him outside without sunscreen because I don't have an infant sun hat.

Part of the reason I feel unprepared is because books and people's advice tend to conflict with each other. One book says introduce a bottle at two weeks, another four weeks, and a woman at La Leche League says absolutely never. One book says sunscreen should not be used under 6 months, another says that advice is old and it should be used from day one.

I've attended a La Leche League meeting, had childbirth classes with breathing exercises, and taken a child care class. I've watched The Happiest Baby on the Block and own Baby 411.

Declarative statement: I am prepared. I just pray that I don't have this child tomorrow.

Pregnancy: T is for Time

T is for time. Time Time Time. It's what everyone wants more of in life. Being pregnant means waiting for the time the baby comes, incubating for a long time, and preparing for the time you have a baby.

The scary thing is that you don't really know when that time will be--unless everything is scheduled beforehand. But then, something could happen before that time.

It's good to be prepared because something could happen at any time.

Pregnancy: S is for Sonogram

S is for Sonogram. At this point, almost 37 weeks, I've had 5 sonograms. The first one was to look at size and guess due date. That was in December and he was the size of a raspberry and looked like a grape. The second was 20 weeks for anatomy. He is definitely a boy. The third was the Wednesday before last to look at his size since he is a smaller baby. This Wednesday (the only one I don't have any pictures from) was to look at the amount of amniotic fluid, his kidneys, and to see if he was still breech. Today's sonogram was to see if he was still breech and to assess us both for a version.

Most pregnant women don't go through all of this. Maybe three sonograms is the norm. I'm lucky!

The first one is only sort of exciting since the fetus does not look like much (below). See? Not much.



The second, the anatomy one, that one is fun. There, you can see details like eyes and toes. Of course finding out the gender is also fun. I'll refrain from posting the picture of his, uh, male anatomy. Let's just say it's obvious. But this, below, is just cute.


The later sonograms have not been as fun, partly due to there being less room for the baby to move around resulting in less exciting pictures. Here's one from today.


At this point, I think I have one or two more sonograms. There will be a sonogram machine at the version procedure. And I have a biophysical profile scheduled for next Wednesday--a biophysical profile is a non-stress test and a sonogram. Of course, next Wednesday I could have a baby instead of a sonogram as sometimes a version brings on labor. I still think he needs to incubate a little more.

Pregnancy: R is for Rest

R is for Rest. Get pregnant and everyone wants you to rest. People get things for you. They give you stools for your feet. They let you cut in front in line. People suggest reading novels and eating bon bons.

Along with suggestions for getting rest, being sleepy is a great excuse for almost anything. Late to work: tired. Don't want to go to the store: sleepy. Late movie which horrendous reviews: past bedtime.

The only person who does not believe I need more rest is my husband. He's the only one who has a clue of how much rest I am getting.

Pregnancy: Q is for Questions

Q is for Questions, because being pregnant means I get a lot of them. What are you having? Do you have a name? How far along are you? Do you have a room ready? Do you have a nursery theme? Cloth or disposable diapers? What do you need?

There are questions from the doctor: Headaches with visual changes? Swelling in hands or feet? Baby moving?

Then, there are my questions: What is a version? Do you really have to weigh me every week? Can I take drugs for headaches/heartburn/morning sickness? Where do I find cheap bras? What size breast shield will I need? Why is this child stabbing me in the side?

Questions I have for my husband: Can you move that? Can you get that? Do you want to cut the cord? Can you just stay at my head throughout labor?

Questions from my husband: Is that because of the cord? What do you know about cloth diapers? What do you need me to do?

And I know the questions will not end upon birth.

Pregnancy: P is for Pee

P is for Pee. Yes, that is slightly crass. Everyone knows being pregnant increases your need to visit the ladies room. It is often one of the first signs. First trimester it is pretty bad. This need is supposed to decrease in the second trimester but friends and I discussed this (at a baby shower) and it didn't decrease at all in that trimester.

Neither the first nor the second trimester prepared me for the third trimester. Goodness, all the time! And it can be PAINFUL. Like he is bouncing on my bladder. It often makes walking hard. And then, AND THEN, I am told to drink more water to increase my fluid intake. Awful.

If I'm at home, I flush ever three, sometimes four, times.

Pregnancy: O is for Open minded

O is for Open minded. That does not look like it is spelled right, but spell check is telling me it is OK.

When discussing labor with doctors, nurses, and friends, everyone says "Be open minded." Nobody wants an expectant mother to walk in anticipating an easy labor, an epidural, or a natural labor. They also want mothers to be open minded about having a caesarean. "It might happen and that does not make you less of a mother."

OK, I'm open minded. I've grown open minded about what my body can do while pregnant (soccer is out, cycling is out, walking is in, sleeping is in). And open minded about the secrets other mothers never tell anyone about (leakage, the mask of pregnancy, fingernails that grow super fast, hiccups, farting).

Yeah, that's all I have to say about it. Be Open minded.

Pregnancy: N is for Napping

N is for Napping. It should be for something else, but I just can't think of anything right now. I've napped twice today. And yes, I slept well last night.

N could be for nesting. I've started making Christmas stockings, made a hanging organizer for toys or diapers, I've made a modesty cover, a nightgown that does not fit my current body, and PJ pants that do fit my body that I will not wear because it is so hot right now.

N could be for nursery. It's almost ready. We now have a mattress. I just want to hang pictures on the walls and get a storage bin for the huge number of toys we already have received.

Today, though, N is for Napping. It will be the same tomorrow.

Prengncy: M is for Money

M is for Money. What else would M be for? Even if money or fiances were not important in a relationship before pregnancy (and the number 1 thing couples fight about is fiances), it suddenly becomes important when pregnant.

Babies are expensive. They don't have to be super expensive though. After all, babies only really need mom for the first few months. However, there are lots of things that are nice to have: it is those things that are expensive, like swings, toys, and diaper pails.

Then there are the things new mothers are suckered into buying.

I've just spend time looking up Dreft. It's the laundry detergent brand marketed to new mothers as perfect to fight stains and be gentle on an infant's sensitive skin. It's also expensive. Maybe I'm missing it, but it does not claim to be free of dyes or perfumes--in fact the baby smell seems to be part of it's brand appeal. Hmmmm. That's something I don't need to spend money on. I have a container of Tide Free for our athletic clothes and a sample of All Free Clear. Those are both cheaper and free of dyes and perfumes. Guess what I will no be purchasing?

Another thing I've not spent money on is clothing. A friend had a son a year ago and has given me most of the clothes her friends gave her and some she purchased. Her first line was "They will be the right size for the right season!" Good, I won't be talked into buying Baby's First Christmas outfits because I already have them. I love my friends.

Other expensive things are more than nice to have: a college education, day care/nanny, and medical expenses (just to start with). OK, those cost money. I don't have a solution. All I know is that in my pregnancy alphabet, M is for Money.

Pregnancy: L is for Lactation

L is for Lactation. Being pregnant, people suddenly feel free to discuss my breasts, or rather, what I will or will not do with them. Wikipedia describes lactation as "the secretion of milk from the mammary glands, the process of providing that milk to the young, and the period of time that a mother lactates to feed her young. The process occurs in all female mammals, and in humans it is commonly referred to as breastfeeding or nursing." Interesting that the entry has a picture of a cat nursing her kittens.

I just find it curious that people want to know whether or not I breastfeed. How does it impact their life? Why does it matter to them? Note: it's mainly mothers who ask.

It's my choice, my decision--OK OUR decision.

I'm just now beginning to realize that this question is not about me but possibly about them, their choices. Or maybe it's just my introduction to judgmental mothers.

Pregnancy: K is for Kids

K is for kids. Kids are the ultimate goal of pregnancy. Yes, you get a baby first, but she or he will grow older and become a kid.

K is also for kids because I can't think of much right now. I'm too busy drinking water and laying with my bottom higher than my heart. Turn baby, turn!

Pregnancy: J is for Jeans

J is for jeans, as in blue ones. While I love a flirty skirt, I typically live in my jeans. My favorite were my skinny jeans because I could wear them with heels and a floaty top and feel dressed up. Another thing about my jeans is that I get them secondhand at the Buffalo Exchange. This works because I can try on a variety of styles and sizes for a good price.

My jeans lasted--with help from the Bella Band--until the 6th month when the pain of the band pressing the zipper edges into my skin was just too much to bear.

That changed when I needed maternity clothes. I've learned that maternity clothes are not made for petite women. I finally ordered one pair from Old Navy and I am trying not to hate them. NOW I know that I like my clothes to fit under my belly. However, I did not know that when I ordered them. Nevertheless, I refuse to purchase any more.

Suffice to say, I've worn and washed them so much that they have a hole.

Pregnancy: I is for Insecure

I is for Insecure. Being pregnant makes me insecure. I like to do things that I know how to do and being pregnant makes me face the fact that I don't really know how to be a mother. And it reminds me that I've never given birth and will most likely end up in pain being weak in front of people.

On a different note: I've learned how to make great smoothies. Texas is way too hot to be pregnant.

Pregnancy: H is for Hormones

H is for hormones. Hormones play a big role in my pregnancy because they kept me from being pregnant. In 2007 my husband and I decided to get pregnant while I was in grad school. If we timed it right, the child would be born during the summer. It seemed like once we started trying, I kept skipping my period. Every month I thought I was pregnant because I had the symptoms: fatigue, gaining weight, no period and constipation. I missed that I was also very cold, jumpy, and my hair was falling out. After six months and six negative pregnancy tests, I went to the doctor and got a blood test.

In short: Hypothyroidism. Too little thyroid hormone. The good news was that hypothyroidism is easily taken care of with drugs. The bad news was that I was not ovulating. Then came the Femara for ovulation induction. I tried one pill, then two months of two pills, then two months of three Femara pills. So, five months later, I was pregnant. But that is another story for another letter.

I have one more thing to say about hormones: yes, there is crying. I must have cried every other day for the first two months. I didn't cry about being pregnant or morning sickness, I cried for the economy. Suffice to say, crying about the economy did not help me get a job.

Now, at eight months, I cry at commercials and movies. State Farm has a moving commercial out about helping people. When I see a trailer for My Sister's Keeper, it's over. I'm bawling. I caught part of Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants; more tears.

I am not looking forward to the postpartum hormones. Enjoy the PregTASTIC podcast about hormones.

Pregnancy: G is for Guilt

G is for guilt. Guilt for having some wine before I knew I was expecting. Guilt for drinking some Dr. Pepper. Guilt for wanting more coffee. In other words, guilt for thinking about myself and my desires (for caffeine) before thinking about my child. I know I should not beat myself up about little things. Besides, I just fell off the couch, I feel beat up enough already.

Pregnancy: F is for Fatigue

F is for Fatigue. Early in pregnancy, the first trimester, I could not get enough sleep. Sleep was wonderful to distract me from the morning sickness. Second trimester was a blur of busyness and energy, though there were those days when I came home from my internship at 2 and immediately took a nap.

During this third trimester I'm less tired than in the first, but I tend to get up, eat, and go back to sleep. If I don't do that, then at about 4 or 5 PM I'm desperate to lay down. This could have something to do with the Texas heat.

Paired with this fatigue is an inability to sleep at night. It's like I'm an infant. I don't want to sleep at night, I want to nap during the day, and I want to eat every couple of hours. Oh, and I pee often.

Pregnancy: E is for Expectations

E is for Expectations. My expectations. Dan's expectations. My parents' expectations. His parents' expectations. Friends. Relatives.

What kind of expectations? Hundreds. Easy labor (my mother) vs. hard labor (me). Will I work? I expect to stay home and Dan will work. I expect to breastfeed.

People expect me to have a name by now. I don't.

I expect Dan to be at the delivery but I know his father missed Dan's sister being born.

I expect a healthy baby boy and I know that might not be what I get. I expect to love my son, but I know that might take time--I might not feel the maternal rush of emotion right away.

Everyone expects me to be happy and excited right now. I'm more terrified and eager for my body back (and I expect to not like its condition) and for the kicking to stop.

I expect parenting to be difficult. I also expect it to be wonderful and rewarding.

Pregnancy: D is for Doctor Visits

D is for doctor visits. For me, one of the hardest things about pregnancy is having the $3 to leave the doctor/hospital parking lot eat time I visit my OB/GYN. My pregnancy has been blessedly easy and problem-free (now getting pregnancy is another story).

Every month it was the same with the nurse: weight, blood pressure, listen for baby's heartbeat. No, no headaches with vision changes. No, no swelling in hands or feet. No, no to the other question I can't remember right now. Yes, yes the baby is moving.

Then my doctor comes in, feels around, comments about my belly sticking out, pulls out the tape measure, and asks me if I have any questions. Usually I don't. It's not that I don't have questions about pregnancy but that I (or Dan) have already looked up the answer in one of my books or online. When I have had questions, complaints really, she's been very helpful and pro-drug. When I complained of migrains on Sundays she said it was OK to drink an extra cup of tea or coffee. She also said Pepcid or Zantac was OK for my heartburn. And they were very quick to get my anti-nausea medication when I called crying during morning sickness.

Thus far, my pregnancy and doctors have been great. Knock on wood, again.

Pregnancy: C is for Clothes

C is for Clothes ... and how I can get through this without purchasing any more than necessary. Since the current the style is for billowy tops, I thought I could get away with wearing the shirts I had throughout my pregnancy. Never once did I take into account that my breasts would triple in size, making once comfy, cute shirts feel like confining corsets. First thing I got was bigger bras from Target.

As I didn't have a job, I didn't feel the need to go out and get new clothes. Then I got an internship at an advertising agency where I had interned the previous semester. While most ad agencies dress down--scruffy T-shirts, jeans with holes--women at this agency dress up. So I went out an got a maternity wardrobe, which was not as easy as it should have been. I'm 5'2". Maternity clothes are not made for petite women. The Gap and Old Navy have jeans in three different lengths, but they have to be ordered online. Motherhood Maternity has petites. Unfortunatly, I did not learn about that until after getting my first round of clothes. I got away with the Bella Band (the cheap one from Target) until the day it was pressing my jeans painfully into my skin. I must have looked like I was in pain as my boss asked me three times if I had a headache.

I have:

Brown pants, black pants, a black skirt, jeans, khaki capris, jean shorts.
A turquoise top, a green top, three T-shirts, a pink sweater, a brown top, a flowered top, and a button down blouse with ruffles.

My mother went on a cruise and got me a darling Mexican maternity top. Then she dug through her baby stuff and got me her Mexican maternity top.

Around the house I wear Dan's clothes. That means soccer shorts and cycling/running T-shirts. To sleep in, I'm addicted to my Anne of Green Gables T-shirt my grandparents bought me when I was in middle school, a Scarlett and Rhett T-shirt, and an Athens, Greece T-shirt from my parents--I'm wearing that one now.

Pregnancy: B is for Blanket

B is for Blanket ... sounds like the title to a Sesame Street song. B could stand for burping or barfing, but for me, it stands for blanket. Everyone says you need plenty of blankets so everyone is giving us their old blankets. When I first registered for baby stuff, I had several blankets that fit my theme on the list. After receiving my 27th blanket, I made sure they were all off the list. And I know I will receive more at my baby shower.

27 blankets
13 burp cloths
7 piddle pads
2 boppy covers
1 modesty cover

Most of the above is from my friend Angela who is passing on stuff to get it out of her house. My mother did bring several blankets--several from my grandmother's house and one my other grandmother made for my brother. I also have a very clean and almost unused Winnie-the-Pooh blanket which I have no idea who gave it to me.

Pregnancy: A is for Anticipation

A is for Anticipation ... not just the mother's anticipation, but everyone's anticipation. It seems like everyone is curious about the new baby, from the father, the grandparents, the future aunts/uncles, friends, coworkers, people in the street, store clerks, and the doctors and nurses.

Family is easy to understand. There's a new member, it will be young, in time, it will be cute. They will enjoy watching it grow and can't wait to start planning things for he/she. My cousin had a girl in January. Even before she was born my aunt was talking about taking our two kids to Disney World and wondering what my child would be so she would know how many rooms to get. Alas, I am having a boy so that means more rooms.

Coworkers I also understand their anticipation, it's more about them, their job, their workload. They have questions like "Will she take maternity leave? How long? How will that affect my workload? Will she come back? She looks bad. Could she be having contractions?"

As for random people on the street, I think some people just had so much joy with their own kids that they are excited for other people.

For me, in my pregnancy, the biggest moment I could not wait for was to find out the gender. At Christmas, my mother and grandmother stared at me and told me I was not sick enough for it to be a girl. They missed seeing me get sick three times on the way home. Still, I was unsure. Until we knew the gender, I could not make any decisions about names or furniture (my husband wisely stood back).

Now that he's almost here, we're playing the waiting game. When will my water break? What time of day? Will it be an easy labor? Will there be problems? Will he be early or late?

Ah, the never-ending anticipation!

Why An Alphabet for ... ?

Three years after receiving it, I've finally reached the last book in M.F.K. Fisher's The Art of Eating. A 750 page trade paperback is not exactly easy to carry around. After years of wanting to start a blog but not having an interesting topic or time--grad school, earning a living, etc.--I now have both. Fisher's An Alphabet for Gourmets has inspired me to pick a letter a day and write about a topic and my unemployed state ... not hard to figure out.

What topics will I write about? Endless topics! Since I'm eight months in, pregnancy. Then probably babies, though that's been covered by several bloggers already. Other topics: Cities I love, trips I want to take, favorite meals/restaurants, favorite books, recipes, triathlons or marathons (A is for Advil, G is for Gu), advertising, famous women in history, and even my grandmother's house. I like a lot of things and I like to do research, so I'm looking forward to getting this started.